My Personal Retrograde Toolkit
This is an updated 2023 version of my toolkit. At the end of the day if you don’t have energy or capacity to engage in any of these things I recommend just stopping and reflecting before saying / doing anything. Give yourself time to process. If you feel that you don’t have the time, remember that you can ask for help or let your trusted support team know that you are having a challenging time right now. If that’s not possible for you, remember that you are the one to stop the cycle and that it’s easy to get stuck in survivor mode all over again. Take what resonates.
These are just my personal suggestions that sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. All this information comes from my own experiences and my client’s experiences. Why not have all the methods to try?
Hope this helps.
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Anyone else feeling the retrograde/eclipse? Usually now more than ever I use my toolkit to help me stay anchored and grounded.
I wanted to share with you my personal tips during challenging times:
Me and my new friends at Zen&Bodywork workshop at Chozen-ji temple in Kalihi. Shout out to Até Geraldine!
1. Meditation.
I know we hear this thrown a lot in the wellness / spiritual realm…a lot. It took me awhile to finally find something that I connected and resonated with. The first exposure I had with meditation was when I was a child. My mother used to be the administrator of a nursing home and there was a Chinese Buddhist Temple down the street. Every time we passed by, I always saw people visiting and kneeling. It was quiet and peaceful.
At the time I was going to a catholic school and attending church and had such a different idea attached to praying. It always felt forced and my parish, teachers and parents would always guilt me into praying. The only time I truly enjoyed my time in church was when no one was there and it was quiet.
Because I'm prone to monkey mind (aren't we all), building a meditation practice was essential for me. It first started off with me as a kid, spending time alone in nature – even though at the time I didn't know what meditation was. Nowadays meditation looks like using different apps like Headspace and Insight Timer, listening to instrumentals, cooking food for myself or sitting in silence. Sometimes it helps to do this with a community to inspire you.
Last month I had the challenging pleasure of learning zazen (sitting meditation) at Chozen-ji, a Zen temple in Kalihi Valley. I will definitely write a blog post going more into detail about my experience there but for now — check out their website for their donation-based offerings and community events.
Change the environment. Take a pause. Take multiple if you need it.
2. Self-Reflection.
During this time it's absolutely VITAL for me to journal. Whether that's writing or even recording myself on a voice memo. Taking the time to process your emotions and day does wonders. My friends and I also like to take the time to check in and talk about each other's days (if we have the energy and capacity of course!).
Other tools of self-reflection when I'm feeling stuck or unmotivated are Tarot and Oracle cards. I pulled cards today from one of my favorite decks and I wanted to share it with you all.
I asked what advice does the collective need to hear during this eclipse / retrograde time. Our guides answered: connection.
Connection is deeper than consumption. What do you feel deeply connected to? Connect with your body, your relationships, your home, your aspirations, your values.
No matter how much you consume or distract yourself, you are left feeling hollow and hungry until you connect.
Why do you feel connected to the places, people and things you do?
Look in all the ways you are supported — the clothes you are wearing, the food you eat, the conversations —- How are you contributing to this great interconnection?
Remember: I am a receiver and a giver. Give what you have more than enough of, receive what you need.
3. Healing Modalities.
Honestly, this could be any type of modality, but these are the ones I use. Breathwork really helps me to release and attune to my body more. Most of us are constantly shallow breathing and not accessing our fully oxygen capacity – this is usually linked with our nervous system, that fight or flight, survival. Especially when we are in a state of grief or even a freeze state, using our breath to move through this is so transformative.
With breathwork comes release and with energy healing comes…well, healing haha. Music definitely has a way of moving energy and it is very healing (throwback to my first breakup when I was in middle school and Deftones basically carried me out of depression). Right now I'm listening to my Spring playlist to support me. I will usually hold a breathwork container for myself when I’m feeling…turbulent hehe.
Looking into somatic, sound therapy and certification programs are also very helpful. If you’re on the mainland or spend a lot of time doing remote work, check out 33rd & Rising and Kin Unified Healing Institute. At 33rd & Rising, Chanel is creating space for BI&POC margainalized communities to unpack from trauma and heal holistically. She is also my Reiki Master and attuned me as a teacher. At Kin Unified Healing Institute, Jananih and her practitioners are spearheading a decolonized practice that is truly inspirational to me. The energy she puts into her research to educate everyone is amazing.
In Hawai’i, my healing spaces are — bodywork at The Manoa House, bodywork and energywork with Lakapatis Legacy and my Karuna Reiki® Master Dr. Chris Lipat who will be moving to Guam soon! My good friend Nicky who owns Hale Mana Aura is doing amazing work by creating a space for the local community to heal. I’m very grateful to know so many transformational people.
4. Movement.
I know I know. Another tried and true method but wow. Every time I'm having a low vibe day, moving my body whether that's through walking, yoga or dancing with @heelsclasshawaii or even singing out loud — it changes that vibe real quick. Removing and moving yourself physically gives you a break from thinking about what went wrong that day and gives you time to approach it from a different perspective you never saw before. It helps to draw out that energy through movement and then being able to transform and transmute that energy into something that is productive and nourishing.
Dancing has been incredibly healing for me, especially being in such a supportive community like @fam.ilyco. You can head to my personal Instagram to see my plethora of dance videos haha. Below is me dancing in 4’2” heels! Never thought I could do that. Allow yourself to be surprised haha.
5. Loved Ones & Community.
My community always shows up for me whenever I need them the most. They are always supporting me, cheering me on and always grounding me. Whether that's my partner, close friends who I speak to everyday, the healers in my life, my dance community, my clients who I get to see or even my therapist…who do you surround yourself with? Don't be ashamed to ask and lean on them when you need it. I don't even want to think about what it would be like if I went through this particular transition in my life without them.
Highly Human is one of my favorite online community spaces. Willa does an amazing job of combining beautiful design aesthetics with bold yet cathartic messages. I always feel so refreshed every time I see their messages on my Instagram feed.
I’m very grateful to have an abundance of spaces (in-person and online) where I can connect with my community whether that’s through DJing, my events, or even dance class. What does that look like for you?
6. Self-Gratitude.
This is honestly one that I'm still practicing. As someone who is still unlearning and moving through the conditioning and internalizing of capitalism, I'd say that this is the most difficult and life-changing tip of all. It's easy for me to be grateful and appreciative for the individuals in my life but it's even harder for me to be grateful and appreciative of myself. Using my affirmations has made this practice better and less cringey.
We hear “give yourself grace” thrown around a lot in the wellness space but what does that actually mean for you or me? For me, giving myself grace feels like telling myself that I am doing the best that I can with whatever capacity I have. It feels like compassion and holding space for myself like I would for a friend. It looks like nourishing myself any way that I can whether that’s crying a shit ton, watching romance movies, eating a delicious meal or looking at myself in the mirror telling myself that I am strong and sobbing while saying that. Try it sometime, it feels truly cathartic. What does giving yourself grace feel or look like to you?
+++++ another tip that I’ve been thinking about +++++
7. Consciously Spending.
I just got done watching I Will Teach You How To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi on Netflix (if you’re into personal finance or in debt, this is such a great show to watch). I had read the book last year and loved it but seeing it in action with BIPOC on the show was amazing to watch. During a retrograde (I feel like this should be all the time haha) we are encouraged to really pay attention to our finances. It’s easy to let some mindless spending slip but as the queen Solange said, “Nothing without intention, do nothing without intention.”
Reconnect with your priorities — are you going on a trip this year? Are you trying to pay off debt? How can you make that priority into a reality? Where is that money going to come from?
One thing that Ramit said and I’ve heard time and time again in the personal finance space — there is a limit to what you can cut spending down on but there is no limit to what you can potentially earn.
When I refer to consciously spending, I am thinking about energetic exchange as well. My clients will always hear me use this metaphor of using our energy like a bank account — who or what is depositing into your bank account? Who or what is withdrawing from your bank account? What feels like an even exchange? If doing a job you dislike is depositing money into your bank account but you’re feeling completely drained, maybe it’s time to reconnect with why you are at that job. If it’s for earning money then great, realign your mind, body and heart to that intention. If you’re realizing that exchange doesn’t feel equal then what is the next step?
These are some of the conversations I have in my in-person sessions with my clients. I always love watching their expressions when I bring up the bank account metaphor.
I hope these tips and resources helped. There's no secret or anything really new or original about the actual methods.
At the end of the day, ask yourself what kind of medicine you need and experiment!
Only you know what you need.
Let me know if this helped you!
x
Riana
Remember — I am a certified Reiki Master Teacher, trained Breathwork Facilitator and Intuitive Mentor.
Most of what I say come from anecdotal experiences unless I reference a book or article. With everything you consume, I encourage you to be a responsible reader and researcher. Discern all information.
I do not diagnose conditions nor do I prescribe or perform medical treatment, prescribe substances, nor interfere with the treatment of a licensed medical professional.
The words, services and products that I offer does not take the place of medical care. It is recommended that you see a licensed physician or licensed healthcare professional for any physical or psychological ailment you may have. My intention behind my words, services and products are to complement any medical or psychological care you may be receiving.
